Now that I've had a slightly normal day (that still included the odd coughing fit) I just wanted to appologize to everyone I have or have not talked to in the last couple of weeks. Things were sort of wonky during the holiday season because I wanted to write so many cards, and reply to so many threads, but I became late with the first and never got around to the second. I hate missing out on time, but I can't seem to accomplish much with the time I get. It was really lovely to catch a nasty cold on Christmas Eve and then spend the whole week feeling like shit, not being able to do anything. In that time, I received many cards from you guys that I haven't yet been able to thank you for. Or I was completely useless in an IM conversation.
Yeah, I'm one of those people who harps on the time she's lost by losing more of it when she could be out there making up for it or at least moving on. I just really hate that I was set back at such an inconvenient time. I mean, I only get to see my dad on weekends and he was home for ten whole days! But we still didn't get to hang out much cuz I was sick or sleeping. That pisses me off like you wouldn't believe. Or I could have called some of you or written more PMs... but I just wasn't feeling up for it.
Even worse, I start complaining about all of this, which makes me angry with myself for dumping it on y'all when I'm sure I could find more interesting topics to talk about. I know nobody wants to hear someone bitch like this... I just really didn't know what else to do cuz its not like you can yell at your cold. Its all very frustrating. So I'm really sorry you guys had to hear me go on about it, and moreso that I wasn't around to talk about better things.
It's just a weird phase I'm going through where I don't know what I want, or how to avoid what I don't want. Starting to think that winter depression is setting in. No idea how to fix it (I'm feeling extremely unmotivated) but I hope I find a way soon, mostly because I miss writing posts I'm at all proud of. If you can't be happy with yourself, how can you expect it from others?
So I'm really sorry for how I've been in the last while. I don't know what's changed, but I need a change, and will try to work on finding one.
Happy new year, all.
*E*