board77

I've thought a lot about what's gone on the last couple of months. I don't pretend to understand all of why it happened. However, I am certain that my actions set fire to brush that was just waiting to burst into flame.

I can't do anything about that now. However, I can admit I was wrong. Very wrong. The people who have been saying "what the hell are you people talking about, it's just the bikeracks, lets move on" are right. They've been right from day one. And all the other stuff that got tied into it... irrelevant really.

As much as I've been saying this place was supposed ot be about mutual respect and working together, I've not done that. People saying I haven't once stepped up to help form the charter, be a ranger, be on a jury... all of you are right. I've said we all have to work together, but I've always wanted others to work while I watched. This wasn't out of some fear of people thinking I wanted control. It was simply because I did not want to spend my time running a message board. Well, I'll have to change that mentality.

I can't say I've changed my opinions about how this board should run. However, my conduct in trying to express those opinions for the last couple of months has been beyond unacceptable. If there's any time personal differences should be set aside it's in deciding how this place should work as a collective. I've thought of all different reasons for why I acted the way I did... partly a fear of what happened at TORC happening again... partly the thought that this place wasn't what I had hoped it would be... two concepts which are opposites of each other. I can't tell you how many times I started arguing a point, and then thought 10 minutes later that I kind of wanted to argue the opposite. Well, not the opposite position, but a very different way of doing things.

I should have joined the committee since it mattered to me so much. I should have participated in my hearing. I should have gone forward with complaints or hearings I thought were justified as well, even if they never went anywhere. I shouldn't have done what I did that caused my hearing to be called. I should have known the bikeracks thread would bother Cerin and not had anything to do with it. I should have listened to friends who told me to back off and take some time away.

I don't pretend to think this post will build any bridges with people that have left, are thinking of leaving, or just plain don't like me. I hope a flood of my friends don't come in here and say how much they agree with me and think I'm great (just PM me if you want to ). However, the bonds of friendship formed here, even among the bitterest of enemies elsewhere, are not so easily broken. I'm willing to take my share of the blame for all of this, but I hope every single other person active on this board is willing to take their share as well. Yes, even people that stayed away. The only reason this board was ever worth anything was the group of poeple here, acting as a group, as one thing with many different parts. If it fails, we all fail.

That's why people starting their own board hurts. That's why every time I thought of starting my own board, I just couldn't think of any way to do it while B77 still was here. We were a group, and we lost that. Why we lost it doesn't matter. We have to find it again to rebuild this place. I don't know how we can find it again, but I will try and help as best I can. No more talk of leaving. No more talk of who's right or wrong. Just moving forward.

I have called all of you here friends. It wasn't just about not being TORC. It was because we were together, even when we didn't agree. That's not something I've seen anywhere else.

Oh my God...Hal.

You're wrong. This WILL build bridges.

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure there are open spots on the committee.

And you can always put your name in the pot for Ranger duty.

Hal, I have never met you nor even talked with you. But because Wolfy calls you friend, I would be honored to be able to call you the same.

Inky

Well, halplm, you can have my spot as Ranger. How's that? Let Eruname know, she'll fix you up.

I have talked to Eru about adding myself to the Ranger pool. I am at the bottom of the list, though.

If whoever's managing the Committee list in the business room wants to add me, please do. I'll be there in 9 days.

I have always believed the price to be paid for wisdom is pain. Given what you have experienced, I believe you may have some come due to you.

Now get your ass on the charter committee. Take what you have learned and apply it.

PM Fixer he'll hook ya up

It takes a hell of a person to not only admit to themselves when they are wrong, but to publically state it.

You're a big man halplm. Er...I mean...

It takes an even bigger person to say 'I was wrong' and not add 'BUT...'.

Because we all fear that if we admit to being wrong about some things, all that we have tried to do right will be forgotten, and we will be labeled complete wrongdoers.

Untrue.

Hal, you are a gentleman.

I added Hal to the committee list.

TheMary wrote:

PM Fixer he'll hook ya up

Ok, when the hell did I get put in charge of this thing?

I appreciate the kind thoughts, but I'm not saying these things to be a bigger man, or a gentleman, or anything else. It's about my mistakes and what I can do in the future, not what people think of me.

I just don't want anyone to think I'm saying all this to try and make people think better of me.

Sorry Fixer

Rodia wrote:

Oh my God...Hal.

You're wrong. This WILL build bridges.

Well its about time the bridge of Khazad-Dum got fixed. Not that you were the balrog Hal.

Hey I've never had beef with you here or on TORC hal but I think this thread is brilliant. I've stayed out of everything here because I fucked up relationships with people (mostly the ones who moved here) on TORC and I realized that sometimes you should either keep quiet or stand up for your friends and not necessarily for what is "right", I did neither of those things on TORC.

That chapter has closed though and I'm proud to call myself a B77er.

TheMary wrote:

Sorry Fixer

Just for that, I am cancelling the male stripper I was sending you for Christmas.

Quote:

I just don't want anyone to think I'm saying all this to try and make people think better of me.

Okay, I think you're a huge asshole. Does that make you feel better?



(well done)

Much

not to make light, but that was just damn funny yov....

I understand why you are doing this hal, not just because I'm your friend, but because I've made some of the same mistakes you have. Birds of a feather....